Greetings to you!

Allow me introduce myself to you. My name is Hon Steven Joyce, and I am top official National Party.

The leader of party, His Excellency Right Honourable John Key came into a great deal of power three years ago after many battle with enemy forces, but due to numerous of complications and legal issue pertain to electoral laws, his power has been unable to exercise fully.

These various bureaucratic and administrative complexions mean that the power His Excellency would wield must be subject to coalition partners. If full majority obtain in Parliament, these difficults would dissipate.

Hence, good sir, I am write to you on entire confidential basis in the hope of solicit your most generous assistance.

To enable His Excellent’s power unleashed unbridle we humble and sincere request that you honour us with your party vote this Saturday.

In returns for party vote, I can assure that you will be most grievously reward.

I am instruct to inform you that in returns for party vote, you will receipt a Brighter Future, as well as benefit of Strong and Stable Government that Have Ambition for All New Zealands.

His Excellently also instructing me to assure that, despite holes on the government budget projectings big enough for walking flock of goat through, his government are Pay Down Debt Faster.

Lastly, Rt Hon Mr Key’s government will Rebuild Christchurch. It in fact main party at war with His Excellency government, Labour, vowing to destroy that magnificent city and all the peoples within.

This may sound too good for be true, and you may wondering why you trust the wording of man who so blatantly braked promises over GST, and who now trying to conceal informative about shading deals with ACT, and about advising he got from officials over fact SOE shares ending up mostly in foreign hoardings.

But you may rest assured, good sir, that this is not a scam! I give you my wording as a Man of God.

So give us your party vote if you want good things happen. In return for which the Brighter Future you so rightly desire be yours in abundant.

What have you lose by giving one tiny little vote to the National Party?

I am most confidence you will see this for the once in lifetime opportunism it is. A chance to enrich yourself and your family, while at the same time help a good and honourable man come into his powerfulness.

Many thankings for your time, and I await most eager your response.

May God be with your.

Steven Joyce